


When Hope Fades Away

by baeconandeggs



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 11:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3894463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baekhyun’s hopes almost faded away as he waited for someone, but when he met a certain stranger named Chanyeol who brought everything back to life, things started to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Hope Fades Away

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my beta/friends who have been helping me to finish this fic till the end, for putting up with my occasional whines and sobs, for listening to my rants on text messages, thank you so much. Without you guys, I might not be able to finish this despite the busy schedule I have. To my lovely recipient, I really (x100000) hope you’ll like this fic even though the amount of lameness in this is so damn high and it’s freaking long and it doesn’t make any sense anymore.

In the middle of a room, dark and quiet, a man let out a sigh as he changed his clothes into his pajamas. He crumpled the clothes before throwing them into a basket near the bathroom. It took him approximately five minutes to brush his teeth and wash his face before he walked to his bed, perching on it. The clock suggested eleven, but strangely enough, he didn’t feel sleepy despite doing many activities during the day. He glanced around the room, noting that everything had been unpacked neatly, clearly nothing much to be done except to clean the dust around the house a bit tomorrow morning. He also had changed the sheets to cleaner ones, and he guessed he was done for the day.  
  
At the mere thought of sleeping the next minute, he suddenly noticed the same brown box he had seen earlier. He put it near a cupboard in front of him, mentally noting that he’d return the box to its owner. The mysterious box stilled in its place, but its mere presence had him wanting to open it and rummage through its contents. A part of his subconscious told him not to open the box without the owner’s permission, especially when the caretaker had reminded him about that. Another part of him was whispering to him, telling him to open the box so that he could sleep peacefully that night without having to think what was there inside.  
  
He chose the latter.  
  
Slowly, he stood up and grabbed the box, noting that it was quite heavy, though he was sure there were only a pile of letters in it from what he had seen before.  
  
He then placed it on the table beside his bed before switching the table lamp on, rummaging through its contents before taking them out one by one.  
  
Letters. Letters. And more letters.  
  
His eyes moved frantically to read the name of the recipient, and all of them were sent to the same person. He was completely aware that he shouldn’t invade someone else’s privacy, especially when it consisted something private such as letters. The letters looked new too, so he highly doubted why the person would leave this before he moved out. He reached for one of the opened letters, reading its content, noticing that it was some sort of a love letter. There was something unusual about the handwritten letter, but he didn’t know what it was. So, he began to read.

_To Jongdae,  
I know you are lying to me. Where have you been? Did you receive my letters? Why aren’t you replying to me? Are you mad at me? Please, talk to me. I need you._

Is that it? He thought to himself. He gripped the letter, the clear handwriting became blurry as he read the sentences all over again. He noted that there was no sender’s name written. Perhaps he could know who sent and wrote these if he read the other letters. He put the one he had read aside, taking another opened letter before putting it flat on the table, scanning each of the written words.

_Dear Jongdae,  
I know you are reading this letter, or maybe not. It has been more than two months, right? Where are you when I need you the most? Where have you gone? It feels like I’m the only one who tries to save this relationship and you aren’t. Please, just let me know where you are, and I’ll be there for you. I know, maybe things are going hard on you during your stay in Seoul, but you shouldn’t do this to me, Jongdae. No letters, no calls or anything. Nothing. Why are you doing this to me? If you hate me, then tell me. If you hate this relationship, then tell me. Please, don’t keep any secrets from me. I’ve been waiting for you like a mad man, and the thing I’m afraid now is that I feel like we’re on the verge of breaking up. This is not going to happen, right? I don’t want that to happen, Jongdae. I don’t want it. So, please… Just let me know that you’re doing fine and that you receive this letter. That’s all I need.  
Baekhyun._

And then everything made sense. He put two and two together, finally figuring out that the sender had been waiting for ages for the reply. He guessed that the recipient didn’t even tell the sender that he had moved out the house, and it must be shockingly disappointing if the sender knew the truth.  
  
He looked at the written letters again, scanning one by one and processing each word into his mind before a heavy sigh escaped from his lips. Silently, without thinking much, he picked up his pen and grabbed a paper he had slid inside a book. The dim light from the table lamp was strangely bright enough for him to read the words on the opened pages of his journal. Gazes wondering about before settling on the pen, and he started to write back for the sender.

 

 

The second week of December was a series of inconsistent rainy and windy days. Dried brown leaves falling from the trees made Baekhyun happy and the smell of burnt leaves in the backyard somewhat soothed him in a weird way. He knew he had more work to finish as he glanced around, even though he’d rather to sit leisurely in his house and pick up his pen to write some letters.  
  
He swept at the dusty ground with an old rake he kept in storage behind the house, collecting the dried leaves and burning them in the backyard. If he was in a good mood, he would water the daisies he bought from the local florist weeks ago. He kept them in pots, making sure to water them and keep them from wilting. When everything was done, he would return the rake in the store and head back inside, closing the windows and doors and go to his father’s room. He would bathe his father, a middle-aged man around the age of 50, and wipe his clean body with a towel before putting the old man to bed every night. It had been a daily routine, one that he couldn’t run away from because it was his responsibility.  
  
When his father was involved in a huge accident last year, it took away his ability to walk. He had been confined to a wheelchair, and sometimes he’d stay in his bed while Baekhyun prepared everything for him. It was difficult for Baekhyun to cope with the situation in the early months after the accident. After losing his mother in the same crash, he had to accept the fact that he was on his own without his mother to support him.  
  
Baekhyun wiped a trail of sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand, and glanced upward with the rake in his tight grip. He counted the number of dried leaves that had fallen on the ground, smiling as he stepped on them, the crispy sound of the dried leaves reverberating in his ears. He liked how calm the weather was at that time of the year, because autumn and winter were his favorite seasons. He managed to experience windy days, watching as the dried leaves and the ground became one, and as time passed by, the place would be surrounded with white snow. He loved how he could feel how fluffy the snow was and how cold his nose would get. Thinking that this year was going to be the first Christmas without her mother, Baekhyun’s heart sank.  
  
The doctors couldn’t help his mother, because they thought it was best to let her go. It occurred to him that his mother could not be saved when she weakly pulled his arm and whispered in his hear, voice low, but just strong enough to be heard as the sporadic beeps of the monitor screamed so loudly it hurt his ears.  
  
Shifting away from reminiscing the painful memory, he looked at his watch, an old one he received for his birthday four years ago. It was from his mother, and Baekhyun thought it was the only thing that kept reminding him that he should not live in the past. It reminded him that time waits for no man, and he should live his life normally by not dwelling too much on the past.  
  
It was Thursday, his day-offs falling on Thursdays and Sundays. He worked at a small restaurant in the countryside, and the wages he received at the end of the month was just enough to support his family. He also delivered newspaper early in the mornings, a time when people would be ready to go to school and work. He’d make sure that all the newspapers were delivered safely to their houses, sometimes slipping the newspaper in between the gates, and he’d return home after making sure that all three-hundred houses received their morning newspaper.  
  
Living in a small countryside town in Gangwondo was exciting, since he got to know most of his neighbors without having any difficulties. Baekhyun could easily recognize every face in town.  
  
There was Junmyeon ahjussi living with his cats; five in total of different colors and each of them was named after the members of Big Bang, a famous Korean boy group. Junmyeon ahjussi’s house was located at the end of the road, with a Taegeukgi at the end of the roof so it was easier for Baekhyun to recognize, given that it was the only house with the national flag of South Korea displayed.  
  
There was also Mrs. Soomi who lived with her twin daughters across the narrow street, and Baekhyun would always spend some time to play with them every time he ended his shift early. He’d buy them ice-cream from the grocery store (sometimes other snacks), and if he had more money to spend, he’d treat them to dakgalbi and patbingsu. It wasn’t much, but seeing how both of them casted beautiful matching smiles, his heart was warmed. He knew Mrs. Soomi forbid him from spending his money on some stupid snacks for her daughters, but he was too stubborn to listen to her nagging. He never knew the feelings of being an older brother, so when the twins showed their affection, he’d always welcome them.  
  
And Baekhyun always thought that living in the countryside wasn’t that bad. In fact, he was used to it, living in a tranquil place where he could live with his father without any disturbance.

 

 

On the days he had to work, Baekhyun always left his house early in the morning, and returned home after the sun set. He’d ask Mrs. Oh, his neighbour from two houses down, to look after his father in the morning, since he’d return home for a while at lunch and take care of everything. His father wouldn’t have a problem if Baekhyun prepared lunch for him. The only problem encountered would be when his father wanted to go to the toilet. However, Mrs. Oh was used to it, so sometimes Baekhyun didn’t have to return home in his break since everything was rest assured.  
  
The distance between his house and the restaurant wasn’t too far. It took him almost ten minutes if he rode his bicycle, or about half an hour on foot. He worked at a dakgalbi restaurant, a small place compared to the ones in the city, but there were many regular customers who’d been coming here for several months so the restaurant hadn’t encountered any financial problems since it was opened. The owner, Mr. Shin was kind enough to let him work there, despite how bad he was at cooking and handling the kitchen the first time worked.  
  
Baekhyun was given two weeks to adjust to working in the kitchen, washing the dishes and preparing the servings on the plates. Once, he broke two plates and a glass in the same day, and all he could do was apologize and promise to pay for the broken dishes. There was one time when the kitchen was almost set on fire because he turned on the stove and forgot to switch it off after he’d prepared a plate of dakgalbi. In the end, he was given a job to handle the menu and customers, providing that he wouldn’t break anything in the restaurant again.  
  
Baekhyun couldn’t thank Mr. Shin enough for his kindness, so he once treated him to soju and samgyeopsal at the famous stall in the neighborhood even though the man rejected the offer at first.  
  
It wasn’t hard adjusting to the work, because there was a total of three or four workers working at the same time to help him out. Oh Sehun, his best friend, was also working part-time. He was a tall lad with flat voice and pale white face, handsome enough to make girls from high schools go crazy over him. As cliché as it might be, a handsome guy like him hated getting attention from any strangers, especially girls. Baekhyun had once introduced him to a girl he knew from the restaurant, a regular customer who’d always order iced lemon tea and less spicy dakgalbi. Already knowing how Sehun would react, the male immediately turned down the girl without hesitating for even a second. His face maintained a stoic expression as he uttered those words of rejection, and Baekhyun never saw that poor girl return to the restaurant.  
  
It was hard to convince Sehun that he was good enough to be someone’s boyfriend, since he was the “complete package” the other guys wanted to be. However, Sehun would return the question with a sharp remark, _“You’re talking to a mirror, hyung.”_ and Baekhyun never asked him anything related to that matter again. He knew how stubborn Sehun was, because he’d only do what he wanted to do.  
  
Baekhyun somehow admired how stern Sehun could be at times, because he himself couldn’t be like that. Baekhyun had a soft heart, and he was easily influenced too. Even so, he was grateful because Sehun was by his side and would always remind him to be a little strict in his decisions, and not always do what others asked him to do.  
  
“Baekhyun!”  
  
A familiar loud voice called out for him, stomping onto his flashback mercilessly. Baekhyun quickly regained his attention and put the plates aside in the rack before storming out of the area and rushing towards the small office near the kitchen.  
  
Mr. Shin was sitting in his room, counting the cash before he turned to look at Baekhyun standing at the door frame. He was a man around the age of forty, wearing round spectacles and he resembled a famous announcer in Korea, but Baekhyun couldn’t remember his name. However, he was a little bit short compared to Baekhyun, so sometimes he found it funny to see Mr. Shin struggling to tip-toe whenever he talked to any workers who were taller than him, such as Sehun and Minjoon, a half Japanese-Korean lad.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Where is Sehun?” Mr. Shin asked, his eyes now focusing on Baekhyun’s movement.  
  
Baekhyun scratched his neck before he shook his head. “Maybe he’s busy with his project at college,” he answered, giving the safest and most reasonable answer he could think of. He didn’t know how to contact Sehun because the boy never gave him his phone number. Baekhyun couldn’t blame him. He should know his limit, concluding that perhaps Sehun wanted to keep his number private.  
  
When Mr. Shin nodded his head and sighed, Baekhyun turned around to head for the kitchen. That was when he suddenly recognized Sehun from afar, who was running and huffing breathlessly as he held on tightly to his bag. He stormed into the restaurant and rushed straight to Mr. Shin’s office. Baekhyun just watched Sehun walk past him, and he could tell that the boy had been running all the way from his college. He assumed Sehun didn’t ride his motorcycle today.  
  
“I’m sorry, Mr. Shin.” Baekhyun heard Sehun apologize. The shorter male turned to look behind and saw Sehun bend his body down with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.  
  
“You’re late.” The owner seemed a bit angry for a moment, but he let out a short breath of laughter and asked Sehun to change into the formal uniform.  
  
Baekhyun was still standing outside Mr. Shin’s office, wondering why Sehun came late to work. When Sehun once again walked past him, the slender boy slipped something into his hand. Baekhyun gasped as Sehun’s warm fingers touched his own.  
  
“Letter for you,” the taller boy said shortly before he disappeared from Baekhyun’s sight.  
  
Baekhyun stood there silently. He glanced at the letter in his hand, and a familiar longing came rushing into him. He missed everything; the letter, the person who wrote it, the memories. He took a good look at it again and folded it into two, before slipping it inside his apron pocket. He’d make sure to read it when he returned home tonight.

 

 

Night finally arrived. The sky was blanketed with hues of black and blue, adorned with bright stars from east to west. It was a night where couples could be seen hanging around coffee shops, kids playing basketball at the local court in the neighborhood and grandmas shouting for their grandchildren to come home for dinner.  
  
Baekhyun was wiping the last plate with a clean towel, and after drying it off completely, he put the plate on the rack. He ensured that the dishes and the sink were cleaned thoroughly so that he wouldn’t have to redo it in the morning.  
  
Sehun was nowhere to be seen when he padded across the narrow hallway. Mr. Shin had already returned home after he had several talks with Minjoon, and the tall lad followed minutes after.  
  
As he was walking towards the locker room on his right, Baekhyun sighed and took off his apron, folding it in two. The light was off, so he figured Sehun had definitely gone home too when he was too busy cleaning the dishes. He turned on the light, and startled when he saw a figure leaning against the wall with his arms folded against his chest. He had his eyes closed, and Baekhyun wondered why he hadn’t left for home yet.  
  
“What are you doing in the dark, Sehun? You scared me,” Baekhyun grumbled as he fumbled with a set of keys, and when he found the right one, he opened his locker.  
  
Sehun slowly brought his head up. He looked so tired. “Let’s go home together.”  
  
Baekhyun put his apron inside the locker and turned to look at Sehun. He seemed different today. “Are you okay?” Baekhyun asked, a hint of anxiety in his voice.  
  
Sehun shook his head in return. “It’s nothing,” he answered shortly.  
  
The shorter male tilted his head in confusion. Before he managed to close his locker and lock it, Sehun suddenly grabbed his hand after taking a few steps closer. Baekhyun almost cursed in surprise, not expecting the contact at all.  
  
“What is it?” Baekhyun asked nervously.  
  
“I…” Sehun’s grip on his wrist loosened until he slowly released Baekhyun’s hand. Baekhyun threw a worried look at the boy, and he quickly locked his locker before paying full attention to Sehun.  
  
“What’s wrong, Sehun? Are you not feeling well?” Baekhyun asked, instinctively placing the back of his hand on Sehun’s forehead. Sehun quickly shoved his hand away, but Baekhyun didn’t take it to heart. He was already used to insecure Oh Sehun.  
  
“Can you give me back the letter?”  
  
The question almost caught Baekhyun by surprise. He tried to calm his heart, his hand moving to the back pocket of his jeans. He kept the letter there all day, and made sure that nothing could stain it. Baekhyun took a few steps back, ready to face whatever Sehun was going to say.  
  
“Why? Why should I give it to you?”  
  
Sehun heaved a heavy sigh. He wasn’t in a good state. He messed up his hair as he massaged his head, as if he was enduring a headache.  
  
“Baekhyun, just give it to me. Please, don’t ask me anything.” Sehun’s voice sounded like he wanted to cry, but Baekhyun thought Sehun was just annoyed.  
  
Baekhyun threw the boy a confused glance. “You have to tell me what’s going on!” Baekhyun almost yelled, but Sehun didn’t budge. Instead, he sneaked his hand behind Baekhyun’s petite body, trying to snatch away the letter. He guessed that was where Baekhyun had kept his letter, since his eyes caught the awkward movement of Baekhyun’s hands, who was clearly trying to protect the letter from being taken away.  
  
Baekhyun wanted to run away from that confined locker room, but Sehun was fast enough to stop him, spinning him around and tackling his hands. He managed to take the letter out of Baekhyun’s hands, and Baekhyun swore he could cry. Why did Sehun do this to him?  
  
He almost cried when he saw the letter in the other’s hand. He expected that Sehun would give in and return it if he pleaded. The letter was important to him. He needed to read it, and Sehun had no right to do this to him. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you, but please, give me back the letter,” Baekhyun said, his voice cracking from trying to hold back his tears. Trying his best to cry in front of Sehun, he stood up straight, his hand reaching out to take the letter from the taller male. However, Sehun didn’t say anything. Instead, he held the letter high in the air, and ripped it into pieces.  
  
“Sehun!”  
  
Sehun pretended he didn’t hear anything. Baekhyun mustered up his courage and pushed Sehun away. Sehun was shocked, and the ripped letter fell to the floor. A part of Baekhyun crushed when his eyes watched the way the torn pieces of paper fall, and everything around him seemed to black out.  
  
“What is wrong with you?! Why did you do this to me?!” He screamed, his body trembling. He finally knelt on the floor, slowly picking up the pieces of the letter as tears finally slid down his face. Why would Sehun let out his anger on him like this? Didn’t Sehun know that he just broke his heart and trust?  
  
Sehun bent down and pulled Baekhyun up, but the latter struggled to let himself free. He was already crying, and his face was wet with tears. The next thing he knew, he was in Sehun’s warm embrace.  
  
“Let go of me!” Baekhyun snapped. He flailed his body around, trying to escape Sehun’s grip. But Sehun knew better. He held Baekhyun’s shoulders and waist tightly, not letting the petite male go. Baekhyun needed to know the truth; he deserved to know the truth, and Sehun knew he had done the right thing. He was sure that Baekhyun would do the same thing for him if the roles were reversed.  
  
“I’m sorry, Baekhyun,” he apologized in a quiet voice though Baekhyun’s crying was louder. “I was trying to protect you,” he added. The moment Baekhyun heard those words, he immediately pushed Sehun away, and this time, he picked up his strength as he glared at Sehun. He didn’t know why he was so mad, but Sehun had to tell him the truth.  
  
“Trying to protect me? Are you joking right now? I don’t know what the hell is happening right now, but you just broke every bit of trust I had in you!” Baekhyun shouted, his anger only making his voice louder. He was trembling badly, and he cursed as he stared dejectedly at the floor. He quickly picked up the pieces of paper scattered everywhere, despite Sehun once again tried to refrain him doing so.  
  
“From now on, don’t expect any letters from him, Baekhyun,” Sehun muttered, slowly calming his heart down. He looked at Baekhyun straight in the eye, hoping that the shorter male would trust him. He was his friend, and he wouldn’t do anything to hurt him intentionally. However, he didn’t expect to receive such a disgusted look in return, or for Baekhyun to back away from him. He kept the ripped letter in his back pocket and didn’t turn to look at the flustered Sehun.  
  
“You broke my trust, Sehun.”  
  
“I don’t want you to get hurt!” Sehun’s jaws tensed and his fingers curled into a fist. He was mad because he wanted to tell Baekhyun the truth, but whenever he wanted to say those words, they got stuck in the middle of his throat, preventing him from spilling out the truth.  
  
Baekhyun didn’t know what Sehun was saying, but the next thing he knew, he was already walking back home, forgetting that he should have taken his bike. The night was unusually cold and unfriendly, but Baekhyun felt nothing. He didn’t freeze nor tremble. His mind was occupied with the thought of Sehun tearing up his letter, and what hurt the most was the fact that Sehun actually had the audacity to do that to him. He should’ve expected that someday Sehun was going to be like this; to hate whatever he was doing. That boy used to be mad at him for always sending letters to the recipient, but Baekhyun paid no attention to any of his complaints because he thought Sehun was just annoyed. He always thought that it would be best to send text messages, but he couldn’t afford a cell phone. His father’s medicines were more important than any of the gadgets and technologies in the world.  
  
But he guessed he was wrong. Sehun wasn’t just annoyed. He was clearly offended and obviously hated Baekhyun’s actions for no reason. And now Baekhyun had to hate him, but he at least had a reason.  
  
He kept walking down the quiet road for what seemed like forever, failing to realize that another tear fell down his cheek.

 

 

Baekhyun didn’t see his father when he came home. It was already late, and he assumed the man had already gone to bed a few hours earlier. The hands of the clock crept slowly around, and it was almost two in the morning. Baekhyun slowly entered the house and closed the door. He had grown accustomed to the creepy sound of the door creaking, but he wasn’t sure why he slammed the door shut, not caring if his father would wake up at the loud sound. He simply forgot that he should have been preparing for breakfast later, because he had decided that he would stay up late. Instead, he quietly headed for his room upstairs; an attic to be specific; a warm place where his father wouldn’t be able to disturb him when he wanted to be alone and a place he called his second home. It wasn’t big enough to place a bed inside since the place was already crammed with a wooden table and cabinet where he’d keep his clean clothes, and Baekhyun made sure he cleaned off any dust on the furniture. Every night before he went to sleep, he’d lie down on a mattress on the floor, tucked some pillows and blankets together and stacked them up at the corner of the wall every time he woke up the next morning.  
  
When he closed the door to his room, he walked towards his desk and took off his sweater. The room was finally warm when he turned on the heater, and he managed to pull himself together as he sat down, sighing as he raked his fingers through his hair.  
  
That day had been one of the roughest for him, but it was the first time his mood had been ruined because of Oh Sehun. His mind finally wandered to think about that boy. Sehun’s words echoed in his ears, preventing him from thinking clearly.  
  
Steering the thoughts away from his head, he finally slid out the pieces of ripped letter from his pocket, noticing that they were already crumpled. He was going to tape them together so that he could read their full content. Reaching for a tape and a blank piece of paper from the drawer, he turned on the table lamp and took a deep breath before focusing his eyes on the wrinkled remains of the letter. His fingers slowly gathered them in one place, being careful not to let them blow away with the cold breeze that was seeping in through the holes in the wall. He made a quick note in his head that he should try and fix those holes soon too.  
  
When he finally opened the folded letter; a big part of it which hadn’t been ripped by Sehun, his eyes caught a glimpse of a sentence that almost broke him. His life crumbled slowly, bit by bit. He held up the letter, ignoring the other small pieces that fell silently from the desk. His eyes kept going side to side to read the same sentence all over again, because he couldn’t believe what he was reading. He assumed that he was just tired and that he hadn’t had enough sleep for the day. But as he focused once more on the sentence, his conscience told him that everything he saw was right. He didn’t read it wrong.

_Please don’t contact me anymore. Goodbye.  
  
Kim Jongdae_

His sight went blurry and a tear managed to escape and fall from his eye. Everything around him was spinning when he realized that he should’ve listened to Sehun’s words. Sehun was right. But it was too late to realize that now, and he crumbled the paper angrily, throwing it on the floor while ignoring the ugly sobs he let out. He regretted not listening to Sehun’s words.  
  
Reaching for a pen on the table, he scribbled something down on the blank paper he’d taken from the drawer, and slowly, he wrote down everything he had in mind, tears smudging the ink without him even caring about it.

 

 

It was already Friday afternoon. Baekhyun should have gone to work that morning, but he didn’t do so. Somehow in the deepest part of his heart, he regretted skipping the shift. He knew Mr. Shin would be angry at him for skipping work for no reason, and he wasn’t sure what excuse to give his manager when he went to work next time.  
  
He woke up late too, but as soon as he fluttered his eyes open, the first thing he remembered was his father. The man must be really hungry. Baekhyun silently cursed himself for being a stupid and selfish son. He shouldn’t have let his stupid emotions take over him, making him forget his responsibilities. He hurriedly stepped out of the room and rushed to his father. It was located near the kitchen, so Baekhyun was worried that his father might use the kitchen without him knowing about it.  
  
He found his father at the sink, trying to grab a cup from the cupboard from his wheelchair, and Baekhyun swore his heart almost dropped at the sight.  
  
“Dad!” He almost screamed, watching his father freeze.  
  
His father startled, but luckily he hadn’t managed to grab the cup yet. Baekhyun couldn’t imagine the consequences if the cup fell down onto the floor and broke, because the pieces would probably hurt his father. He couldn’t think of them, so he was relieved when his father turned to look at him.  
  
“What are you doing, Dad? You shouldn’t be here. It’s dangerous. You might hurt yourself,” Baekhyun nagged at his father for coming to the kitchen. He received a worried look in return, but Baekhyun ignored the expression on his father’s face.  
  
“Where did you go last night? Why did you come late to home? I was lonely,” his father asked. The wrinkles on his forehead were apparent as he creased his eyebrows, utterly worried of what had happened to Baekhyun last night. He’d been waiting for almost two hours for Baekhyun to return home, because that was what he always did for several past months already. But it was the first time he went to bed without getting to see Baekhyun before he slept, so of course he was bothered.  
  
“It’s…” Baekhyun paused for a second. “It’s really nothing, Dad. Mr. Shin asked us to stay behind and clean up the restaurant a bit since there are a lot of customers coming today.” He grabbed the cup from the opened cupboards and put it on the table. He filled the kettle with water from the sink, and when it was full enough, he turned on the stove and settled the kettle on it. A sigh escaped from his lips. He couldn’t believe he just lied to his father, who completely believed whatever his son said. Baekhyun was a good actor, and if his father knew that he wasn’t telling the truth, he would have been in total disbelief. Baekhyun never lied to his parents, so he didn’t know why of all days, he was lying to his father at that very moment. Regret seeped through him, but Baekhyun thought it was best to stay quiet.  
  
“Oh,” his father said. He still looked concerned, and Baekhyun couldn’t help but keep his stoic face so that his father wouldn’t suspect that he’d been lying. “Don’t you have to work today?”  
  
Baekhyun shook his head slowly. “My shift starts tomorrow,” he lied again.  
  
When his father gave no response, Baekhyun thought that maybe next time he could tell him the truth, even though it had nothing to do with him.

 

 

A cold Monday night, it was the time when Baekhyun didn’t expect any customers coming to the restaurant. It was almost past midnight, and he had finished with cleaning dishes as usual. Baekhyun was about to lock the restaurant and go home when someone in thick black coat approached him, shivering as if he was wearing thin clothes. The man smelt like autumn, but Baekhyun believed he also smelt like spring.  
  
“Is it close already?”  
  
Baekhyun had to crane his neck to look at the owner of the voice. He was incredibly tall, face hidden behind a black mask he was wearing. Baekhyun wasn’t wearing his specs, but from the look of it, the stranger might be a good looking person when he finally noticed the eyes. They held thousands of emotions, ones that Baekhyun couldn’t comprehend.  
  
“W-What?”  
  
“The restaurant. Are you closing it now?”  
  
“Uh… yes?” Didn’t he see that the lights were already turned off?  
  
“Oh God,” the man breathed out. He scratched his head, looking troubled. He took off his mask and tucked it under his chin. Baekhyun scanned the face, but he couldn’t see it clearly as his eyesight didn’t help that much. “I’m starving and this is like the nearest restaurant I could find around the neighborhood and… oh God,” he mumbled to himself, turning his body around and scratching his head again. His voice got deeper and deeper as Baekhyun listened to it. The man wrapped his arms around his body, fingers clamping tightly on his arms, lips puckering in disappointment.  
“Uh… I’m sorry but you can come again tomorrow morning,” Baekhyun apologized.  
  
The stranger chuckled. “Ah, that’s okay. Are you from here?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Do you know where the closest restaurant or any stall around here is? I’m kinda lost here, and it is past midnight and you’re the only person available here.”  
  
Baekhyun took a few steps away from the stranger. Even though he didn’t look like a murderer or kidnapper, he had to stay alert. Something told him that this stranger was really lost, so Baekhyun told him the way to a nearest twenty-four hour local store he could think of. And when the man bid him goodbye, the air got thin and Baekhyun found himself gasping for some air, clearly not realizing that he’d been holding his breaths.  
  
A cold Monday night, it was when Baekhyun met a nameless stranger whose presence almost left him in awe, words hanging in the air as though they were never meant to be spoken out.

 

 

“Where are you going?”  
  
Baekhyun ignored the voice. It was Sehun’s, and the man was leaning against the locker, watching Baekhyun as the latter packed his belongings inside his bag, as if he was ready to go somewhere after he had finished with his jobs. Mr. Shin was inside his office, talking to someone over the phone and Minjoon had already gone home. Another two workers were in the kitchen, cleaning off the dirt and washing the dishes.  
  
“Baekhyun, answer me.”  
  
The silence was deafening, but Baekhyun preferred it that way. He had been avoiding Sehun since that morning and they hadn’t talked to each other or spared any glances. Nothing at all. Baekhyun was still embarrassed of himself whenever he remembered the other night’s incident. He should’ve listened to Sehun, and he guessed Sehun must probably be laughing at him if he knew that Baekhyun had finally read the letter.  
  
Sehun gave a stern look, as if he could burn a hole on Baekhyun’s shirt with his eyes. When Sehun held Baekhyun’s shoulders and turned the petite body around, the latter finally gave in.  
  
“I’m going to the post office,” Baekhyun finally spoke.  
  
Sehun sighed. He predicted it already. “It’s already late, Baekhyun. You can go there tomorrow morning. I bet it’s closed already.”  
  
“I need to check whether my letter is there or not,” Baekhyun replied, his voice was maintained in a strict tone.  
  
Sehun laughed dismissively. It was more like he was belittling Baekhyun for sending the letter to Jongdae, despite being warned by the recipient himself not to write any letter for him. “Did you send the letter to him the other day?”  
  
“I did.”  
  
“It’s dark outside, Baekhyun. You don’t even have any bicycle to ride. Didn’t you say there’s something wrong with the tyre? I heard you talk to Minjoon just now. You haven’t sent it for a repair, have you?”  
  
“I can walk.”  
  
“You can’t walk there alone, Baekhyun. Don’t you know there’s no streetlight along the road? It’s dangerous to be alone out there.”  
  
Sehun was right. The street was quiet and scary even. The day was getting darker and Baekhyun didn’t think he could make his way to the post office safely. There might be drunkard or any strangers he might encounter if he went there alone.  
  
“This is not Seoul, Sehun. I know where I am going.” Baekhyun finally turned to the said man. “We’ve been living here since we were born. Why are you worrying so much? It’s not like I’m not used to walking alone in the dark. And I always return home late, so what’s with the fuss?”  
  
“No. You can go there tomorrow morning.”  
  
“It’s been almost two weeks, Sehun! I’ve replied to the letter you gave me the other time and I still haven’t got the reply. I can’t wait until tomorrow morning to check whether the letter is here or not. I’m not willing to wait anymore. I need to know why he did that. Can’t you understand me?”  
  
A heavy sigh was heard. “Let me send you there.”  
  
“I can go there by myself. No need to worry. Tell my father I’ll be home in a few hours. Tell him to go to bed early too,” Baekhyun reminded Sehun. He was certain that Sehun would understand his situation at that moment.  
  
“I’ll go with you,” Sehun suddenly said, trailing Baekhyun from behind.  
  
“But Sehun—”  
  
Sehun cut him off and handed him a helmet he brought in his hand before grabbing Baekhyun’s hand and walked out of the restaurant.

 

 

Three weeks had passed since the day Baekhyun and Sehun went to the post office to check whether the letter for the former had arrived or not. Like what he had expected, he still hadn’t got the reply yet from Jongdae. Baekhyun knew he was waiting for something impossible. He was stupid enough to wait for his letter to arrive, knowing that Jongdae had warned him not to contact him anymore. Baekhyun didn’t know the reason behind his cold action towards him. All Baekhyun knew was that he never failed to keep writing and to update everything about him and his father to Jongdae. He guessed something bad must have happened to Jongdae back in Seoul. But again, he had no proof to conclude things yet, so he was clueless, therefore leading him to mindlessly wait for the letter to arrive.  
  
“Baekhyun—can you take another table?” Hyeri, a waitress working there in the restaurant approached Baekhyun and asked him. Baekhyun breaths hitched at the sudden question. He turned his body around and saw Hyeri pouting like a child. Today, the restaurant weren’t that packed with customers since it was Monday. Most people were at work and it wasn’t lunch time yet. So Baekhyun quietly wondered why Hyeri asked for his help.  
  
Baekhyun nodded. “Sure. Which one?”  
  
“There. Two lads over there.” Hyeri pointed her index finger at a round table near a window. There were two men, talking to each other relaxingly. No food and drinks on the table, so Baekhyun guessed Hyeri hadn’t taken the orders for the said customers yet.  
  
“Why didn’t you serve them?” Baekhyun asked.  
  
Hyeri shrugged. “I heard them talk and I think they are from Seoul. Most of people from there are… you know. Full of pride.”  
  
Baekhyun raised his brows without asking any question anymore. He patted Hyeri’s shoulder lightly before he hurried straight to the table, a list of menu and a piece of paper were gripped tightly in his hand. As he got closer, both men were looking at him, smiling as they fixed their seats.  
  
“Is there anything you want to order?” Baekhyun asked politely as he handed the menu to the taller man of the two.  
  
“Uh… we’ve been waiting for like five minutes already,” the blonde-haired man complained, and Baekhyun spontaneously bowed a little, apologizing.  
  
“No, sorry. Don’t listen to him,” the taller male said, smiling as his gaze fixed on Baekhyun. He read the whole content listed in the menu, ignoring his friend who was clearly pouting.  
  
“Sorry for the late service. Apparently we are having a short of staff today,” Baekhyun said, still feeling the need to apologize when he saw the unsatisfied reaction of the blonde-haired man.  
  
“That’s fine. Don’t mind him. He’s just hungry,” the taller replied instead, giving a sincere smile.  
  
When Baekhyun finally looked at the taller man in the eyes, it was when he noticed something strange. He thought that the eyes were familiar. Or was he just dreaming? He held back the urge to ask the customer if they had met before because it would be inappropriate for him to do so. His head was full with words, but he could just let the silence enveloped the surrounding as he waited for the men to order their breakfast. Time seemed to move slowly as he studied the taller man. When they finally made their order, the taller male gave him one last smile, before he turned to talk with his friend. Baekhyun straightaway left for the kitchen, assuming that he was imagining things again.

 

 

“Baekhyun, we need to talk.”  
  
It was Tuesday evening, and lunch hour had passed a few hours ago. Baekhyun was cleaning the table, seemingly surprised when Sehun held his arm without a warning.  
  
“What’s wrong?” There was a change of expression on Baekhyun’s face. He was happy just now, laughing with Minjoon and talking about a grumpy customer who just left the restaurant minutes ago, but when he heard Sehun’s cold voice, he didn’t feel at ease.  
  
Sehun looked to be debating whether or not he should tell Baekhyun things that had been bothering him. He drew in his breath, let it out along with a heavy sigh. “Don’t write to Jongdae anymore.”  
  
The silence then was cold and discomforting.  
  
“What?”  
  
Sehun bit his lips. “I said, don’t write to Jongdae anymore. I meant it.” Sehun’s firm hands now were on both Baekhyun’s shoulders, holding them tight as if Baekhyun was about to fall down.  
  
Baekhyun shoved them away. “I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear anything.”  
  
The smaller male was about to walk away as he lifted up the mop he leaned against the wall when Sehun stopped him, taking the mop and put it aside. “Listen here, Baekhyun.” He seemed to be contemplating on what he was about to say. “I… I don’t want you to hurt.”  
  
“Then what does that have to do with me writing to Jongdae?”  
  
“He’s just…” Sehun scratched his head. This is not going well, he thought before he blurted out, “Forget it.”  
  
“Forget what? If you’re not going to tell me what’s going on, then I’ll be sending letters to him forever, even if you’re going to hate me.”  
  
Sehun grunted. He ran his hand through his hair, letting strands of hair to settle on his forehead. “No, listen to me. Just don’t contact him anymore. I’m begging you.”  
  
Baekhyun shook his head. “I’m going to the post office again this evening.”  
  
Before Baekhyun could make his way away from Sehun, the latter pulled his shirt lightly. His eyes was full of hope, clearly asking Baekhyun to listen to every bit of his words. “No. Don’t go. You’re wasting your time.”  
  
“So now I’m wasting my time?” Baekhyun sneered. “You don’t talk to me that way, Sehun! I know what I am doing!”  
  
“You don’t know what’s going on right now!”  
  
Baekhyun’s chest was heaving uncontrollably. He stared into Sehun’s eyes, demanding an answer from that man. “Then explain.” His voice was low and cold, almost emotionless.  
  
“Why should I tell you about something that will hurt you? Do you think it will be easy for me to explain everything?”  
  
“Then don’t bother! Why would you put yourself in trouble if you’re not going to tell me everything? Why would you refrain me from doing what I’ve been doing for the past few months? It’s been almost a year even.”  
  
“Because I know how much you’ve been suffering waiting for him.”  
  
The air got thinner, and the silence was loud. It had been a long time since they had fought like this. The last time they had a huge misunderstanding was when Baekhyun’s mother got into an accident, and Sehun just got himself into trouble by asking Baekhyun to move on. It was silly, especially when Sehun’s intention was good. But the news left Baekhyun devastated, making him forget that everything Sehun had reminded him about life was right. He should move on. And now, Sehun was doing the exact same thing too. However, Baekhyun was still the old Baekhyun, refusing to listen to people’s words even if he should have done so.  
  
“I need to serve the customers,” Baekhyun finally said after a moment of silence. He pushed Sehun’s body slightly, but the latter ignored him. He held Baekhyun by the arms but the male struggled to set himself free from the touch.  
  
“Baekhyun—”  
  
Something fell down on the floor and Baekhyun’s world almost flipped upside down when he noticed what it was.  
  
“What is that?” Baekhyun asked. His voice quivered, and there was uncertainty in his voice.  
  
It was a letter lying on the floor, sealed and still new. It had Baekhyun’s name on it to add the confusion, and Baekhyun wondered why he had never seen that letter before. He was sure that the letter was still new since the seal was not opened yet. It must have fallen from Sehun’s pocket when he was trying to free himself from Sehun’s hold earlier. When he looked up, Sehun was gritting his teeth, and the male quickly bent down to pick up the letter. But before he knew it, Baekhyun had already grabbed it first, ensuring that it was really for him.  
  
“This is…”

_To: Byun Baekhyun_

It really had his name on it. Something bothered Baekhyun when he noticed the change of expression on Sehun’s face. He couldn’t accept the fact that Sehun was hiding something from him. Something that he deemed he deserved to know.  
  
“Why are you holding my letter?”  
  
“Baekhyun, this is not—”  
  
“You went to the post office, right? This isn’t the one I have in my boxes. Why are you keeping this?”  
  
Sehun’s voice lowered down. He glanced everywhere, making sure the customers weren’t there watching them bicker. “There’s a reason why I asked you to stop writing to him.”  
  
“But he did reply to me, right? That’s all that matters.”  
  
Sehun was flustered. “No, you don’t understand me. Listen here, Baek—”  
  
“I’m your friend, Sehun. We’ve been best friends since middle school and you should know me better. You know how much I love Jongdae and how long we’ve been writing to each other. I might look stupid enough for using the ancient and stupid way of contacting my loved one because yes, I can’t even afford a smartphone like you. I have other responsibilities I have to think of other things first before mine. I have a sick father confined to a wheelchair who needs to be taken care of all days and nights. And you expect me to understand you when you don’t understand my situation here, Sehun. What were you thinking?” Baekhyun’s voice broke. He sobbed silently, eyes filled with unpredictable emotions.  
  
“This is just a misunderstanding. You don’t even let me explain for all that matters!”  
  
“Like I said, I don’t need any explanation. This…” Baekhyun sneered and held up the letter right in front of Sehun’s face, provoking him. “...is more than enough.”  
  
He stormed out the restaurant, leaving Sehun speechless once again.

 

 

_To Baekhyun,  
It’s been almost a long time since I last wrote a letter for you, right? How have you been? I’m sorry for keeping you wait for so long. I’m sorry for all the reckless things I’ve done to you. I shouldn’t have done that. Just… forget any of my letters if they somehow offended you in any way.  
  
Anyway, life’s been so hard on me. I go to college like always but something came up one day. I failed my final exam, and I had to repeat it if I wanted to graduate early this year. But I don’t think I’ll be able to continue what I’ve been doing. Music is not my thing anymore. I just couldn’t find the feelings I used to have back when you were with me whenever I wrote my songs. It was different. Everything has changed. And that’s why I changed my course. I’m taking engineering now. You might think it’s difficult, filled with killing-subjects, but trust me, I’ve been better. I met new friends, and the lecturers are nice too. I’m sorry if I’ve been neglecting you all these while, but I had to catch up to everything fast. I don’t want to repeat the same mistake anymore. You understand me, right?  
  
I’ll write again when I receive the next letter from you. So please, don’t be sad if I reply to you late. It’s just me… trying to blend in the new environment. I hope you understand that. I hope you’re just joking about you wanting to kill yourself if you don’t get any reply from me. Don’t ever do such a stupid thing, okay? You know I hate it. This isn’t like you. Where is the same man I love? Where is the man who never know what losing faith is all about? We’ve promised to love each other, no matter what happens, right? I’m trying to stay strong here, so that I can go and meet you when I graduate later. So that I can grant all your wishes to be with me. Remember that I always love you, okay?  
  
Love,  
  
Kim Jongdae_

Baekhyun cried, because he was too immersed while reading the letter. It was more than enough, knowing that Jongdae was still there for him. He failed to notice that there was something unusual about the letter. Everything was different: The handwriting, the sentence structures and the last sentence. Jongdae _never_ said he loved Baekhyun in all his letters. But Baekhyun was too happy to think about it when he huddled under his thick blanket, holding the letter tight against his chest as he was smiling and thinking of Jongdae. Everything else didn’t matter as long as he knew Jongdae was there.

 

 

It was a windy night when he met a certain stranger running mindlessly, panting and huffing as if he was being chased by something. Baekhyun was arranging the chairs and tables outside the restaurant, and he was about to go home too. Everyone else had gone home, so Baekhyun was wondering who the stranger might be. Baekhyun squinted at the figure, noticing that he was running towards his direction.  
  
“H-Hey, is everything alright over there?” Baekhyun shouted, stammering a little. He backed away slightly when the man approached slowly, but he mustered up his courage, concluding that perhaps the man really needed some help.  
  
The man finally got closer and he was clearly sweating and panting as if he’d been running under the scorching sun. He pointed out his finger to a quiet and dark road, slightly trembling. “I was—huh—I was talking to an ahjussi over there when his dog suddenly chased me around,” he explained, trying to collect his voice. He looked tired and incredibly scared.  
  
“Junmyeon ahjussi?” Baekhyun guessed.  
  
“Yeah, it’s him. How do you know his name?” The man huffed, wiping his sweats that were trailing on his forehead with his sleeve. Baekhyun smiled and gave him a handkerchief he kept inside his pocket. He heard a soft thank you from the unknown man.  
  
"He’s the only one here who owns a dog,” Baekhyun told the male. The taller man was in awe when he heard that, his eyes went wider as he processed the words. Then, he gave Baekhyun his handkerchief back. The silence followed after a while until their eyes met. His eyes went wider, as though he was trying to recognize Baekhyun’s face.  
  
“Hey, it’s you again,” the man exclaimed, his teeth showing as he grinned.  
  
Baekhyun threw the man a questioning look. “Have we met before?”  
  
The man didn’t answer. Instead, he extended his hand in greeting. “Uh, yes. Oh I’m really sorry. I’m Chanyeol. Park Chanyeol,” he introduced himself. Baekhyun shook their hands together, feeling the warmness seep through his body before he released his hand.  
  
“Mr. Park—”  
  
“No. Don’t call me that. Just Chanyeol,” Chanyeol showed him a toothy smile once again.  
  
Baekhyun looked at him, mute, but he nodded anyway.  
  
“Do you always stay behind late at night like this?”  
  
“How did you know that?”  
  
“I think we have met before, remember?”  
  
“Sorry, I don’t really remember.”  
  
Chanyeol rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, and I was here with my friend the other day, and you happened to serve our table. Well… I can say that this is actually our third time talking to each other.”  
  
“Oh,” Baekhyun responded shortly. “Why did you meet Junmyeon ahjussi?”  
  
Chanyeol eventually took a chair and sat down, before giving a meaningful stare at Baekhyun. He put down his books on the table. “It’s regarding my college project.”  
  
“What is the project about?” Baekhyun asked, unsure of why he would ask such a question. He should’ve left the place, instead of talking to a mere stranger. He didn’t know what made him stay.  
  
“We were given a task to do some research on historical places and I have to complete it before next month. It’s tough, because I’m not really into historical places. So I need someone to show me to some places around here,” Chanyeol explained. His eyes glanced around, taking in the beautiful surroundings before him. The swaying trees, the dark sky and the moon: those calmed his heart.  
  
“Where are you from?” Curiosity hit Baekhyun, so he asked that question. He noticed that Chanyeol didn’t use dialect like what he had been using, so he assumed Chanyeol come from the city. He might come from Seoul, Baekhyun thought.  
  
“Seoul. Well, I don’t really live in the middle of the city but—yes, technically I’m from Seoul.”  
  
Baekhyun’s guess was right. “But it’s still in Seoul.”  
  
Chanyeol let out a short breath of laughter. “Hey, wanna grab some drink? It’s my treat.”  
  
Baekhyun arched his brows. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t hang out with strangers. Besides, it’s already late. I have to close the restaurant.”  
  
“You already knew my name. Isn’t that enough?”  
  
“It is not. Besides, I still have work to do. I don’t even have much time for myself.”  
  
“We can go tomorrow and tell your boss that you’re having lunch with me—” Chanyeol paused when his eyes caught Baekhyun’s change of expression. “Well… maybe not we. Maybe I’ll just tell him by myself,” he continued and chuckled, keeping his head down.  
  
Baekhyun gave no answer in return.  
  
Chanyeol nodded. “So?”  
  
Baekhyun craned his neck. “Sorry, I don’t really hang out with other people unless I know them well.”  
  
“So what should I do so that I can be in the list of certain people you know well?”  
  
Baekhyun guessed that the taller man would never give up until he agreed to his offer. “I have to go now. Ah, Junmyeon ahjussi hates it when you don’t know anything about idols. Make sure you do a little background research on some idols. You should know better than me.” He took out a set of keys from his bag he leaned against a chair.  
  
“Is it even necessary? I thought he’s too old for that.”  
  
“It is necessary. Never judge someone by his appearance. Also, when you talk to him, you have to know his likes and dislikes as well,” Baekhyun said.  
  
“But it doesn’t have anything to do with me taking the photographs?” Chanyeol looked so confused hearing Baekhyun’s remarks. Baekhyun couldn’t help but laugh.  
  
“But Junmyeon ahjussi is the person you have to interview, no?”  
  
“I can interview other people though.” Chanyeol grinned.  
  
“And may I know who do you have in mind? He’s like the most eligible candidate ever to be interviewed when it comes to historical places in Gangwondo.”  
  
“I can interview you.”  
  
Baekhyun was completely taken aback when he heard that. “Wait. What?”  
  
“You look like someone who can be the best tourist guide ever. And you talk a lot too.”  
  
Baekhyun stopped responding. He thought this conversation must stop here.  
  
“I’m not that talkative as what you might have thought,” he corrected Chanyeol. He didn’t realize that he talked that much with a stranger, and it was completely weird if he thought about it.  
  
“And I’m not that type of a person who would do some sort of a stupid background research on idols just to interview someone who’s old but young at heart like someone claimed,” Chanyeol replied.  
  
“You don’t have a choice though,” Baekhyun said as he took a few steps away from Chanyeol.  
  
“Hey, I still don’t know your name,” Chanyeol called out for Baekhyun, but the former had already disappeared in the dark as he rode his bike, and Chanyeol silently smiled.

 

 

Baekhyun didn’t feel surprised when he saw the same guy from yesterday. Baekhyun still remembered his name. Park Chanyeol. He had no friends with that name, so the name was still new to him. This time around, Chanyeol was wearing a blue button-up shirt with matching jeans, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Time seemed to slow down, giving way for the tall man to catch Baekhyun’s attention, enough to make the smaller gasp for some air as his eyes scanned the walking figure from head to toes. He was like an art, a fine sculpture someone would keep in a glass inside the museum. The way he walked was full of pride; as if he owned the world.  
  
Baekhyun’s heart pounded in the same rhythm as Chanyeol made his steps, padding nearer and nearer until Baekhyun could clearly see the clear sparkles in the other’s eyes.  
  
“Good morning.”  
  
Baekhyun breathed in. He gnawed on his lip, considering returning the greeting. Chanyeol’s face was like a complete set of puzzles that was put up in a frame hanging against the wall. There wasn’t a single feature on his face that Baekhyun could call an imperfection. His face was almost concealed in the shadows last night, although the moon casted its dim light upon his face. Baekhyun still managed to notice the same gaze. But today, Chanyeol looked like a different person. Baekhyun almost didn’t recognize him as someone he had talked to before. It just dawned on him that it was the same man who approached him last night.  
  
“Good morning,” Chanyeol repeated, holding out his hand in greeting.  
  
Baekhyun contemplated, but he responded anyway. “The shop is closed for now. You can come again at 10,” he said, shifting his eyes away from looking at the embodiment of beauty before him, whose eyes were scanning the smaller under his eyelashes.  
  
“I know. I didn’t come here for breakfast.” A bright smile was drawn on the taller’s face. He rested his hand he had held out earlier behind his back. “I came here because I want to meet you.”  
  
“I don’t make any appointments with anyone today.”  
  
Chanyeol didn’t answer when he heard the stiff answer from Baekhyun. He chose to stay silent, traces of wrinkles appeared on his forehead as he stared at Baekhyun. He was frowning. It wasn’t a kind of a frown someone made when they were sad. It was more like a frown they made when they were mesmerized by something, like they didn’t believe it with their own eyes. To Chanyeol, it was his first time seeing a gorgeous man with sculptured cheekbones and sparkling eyes that reminded people of a puppy that lost its way in the middle of busy streets, searching its way home.  
  
“Why are you staring at me?” Baekhyun muttered under his breaths, gnawing on his lip as he faced Chanyeol awkwardly. The next sentence stuck in his throat when they shared gaze, and Baekhyun ended up mumbling it shyly, keeping his head down. “Stop doing it.”  
  
“Sorry, I didn’t expect that you would be this beautiful,” Chanyeol said. “Besides, you are wearing your spectacles today. You look really different.”  
  
Baekhyun contemplated Chanyeol in silence, the word ‘beautiful’ kept repeating in his head like a broken vinyl. He never had a slightest thought that someone would call him that. It was stupid, really. Having a complete stranger praising him when they didn’t know each other that well. He pushed his spectacles against his nose and cleared his throat. He felt his body shrink under Chanyeol’s stern gaze. Silently, he continued his work, arranging the chairs and tables outside the restaurant.  
  
Chanyeol let out an awkward chuckle. He took in the sight of the sky painted in baby-blue, adorned with the dotted clouds across the horizon. “It’s a beautiful morning, isn’t it? You don’t get to see the sun when you’re in Seoul. Hidden behind the tall buildings, it’s almost impossible to see such a breath-taking surrounding like you have in here.”  
  
Baekhyun let the words dissolve in his mind. He never went to Seoul, so he didn’t know what to respond if he hadn’t seen the real place. Sehun had shown him some of the pictures he had taken while he was in Seoul two months ago for a college trip, but that was it. Baekhyun preferred to see the beautiful places with his naked eyes. Standing in front of a skyscraper and in the middle of busy streets. Baekhyun wondered if it was any different from standing in front of a beach, witnessing the waves hitting the beach as the sun was swallowed by the sea and the moon took turn to shine the night. Was the sea breeze different than the one from the city?  
  
“There isn’t much to see here anyway,” Baekhyun said as he wiped the chair clean with a dry kitchen towel he put in the apron he was wearing. When Baekhyun stole a glance at the man, he found himself being stared at.  
  
The sun soared higher now. Baekhyun guessed it was time to step inside and help his friends with the kitchen work. He straightened up his body, cracking his neck and facing Chanyeol. “I have to go inside now.”  
  
“So, you are not going to keep me company today? I need to go and check out those places Junmyeon ahjussi had suggested yesterday,” Chanyeol said.  
  
Baekhyun wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. “Where’s that place?”  
  
“He mentioned something about Baekdamsa Temple.”  
  
Baekhyun raised his brows. “It’s not that far from here. You can take a taxi from here and ask the driver instead. He’ll bring you to that place.”  
  
Chanyeol frowned. “I thought you’re going to help me.”  
  
“I didn’t say anything about helping you,” he replied. Silence enveloped and Baekhyun found it uncomforting. He folded the towel in two and grabbed it tightly. “Listen, I need to go inside and help my friends, alright? You can come in and order a breakfast if you want to or go straight to the stand over there and wait for the taxi. It’s your choice,” Baekhyun finally said.  
  
“I’ll choose the former,” Chanyeol said, casting a meaningful smile. And by the time he finished his words, Baekhyun straightaway walked into the restaurant and left Chanyeol outside.

 

 

It was always like this.  
  
Baekhyun knew he was going to agree to everything Chanyeol said when he returned to the table with a plate of sandwiches and a cup of hot chocolate. Chanyeol persuaded him with pleading eyes, asking him to show the place around. Baekhyun chose to ignore the man in the first place, but the stare he gave was too much of a burden, so he ended up agreeing to whatever the man had suggested. The funnier thing was, Mr. Shin even let him take a day off so that he could help Chanyeol find his way to the temple. Sehun didn’t come to work today, so he wasn’t sure if it was right or not to return home during the break to feed his father.  
  
“Is it okay if I go back to my house for a moment?” Baekhyun asked, wiping off the flour caught on his sleeve. He was trying to bake a cake with Hyeri’s help, and perhaps they might add cakes as their new menu on the list if everything worked fine.  
  
“Is it okay if I follow you?” Chanyeol asked back, not answering the question. Baekhyun considered, and he nodded hesitantly. He never let any strangers or guests come to his house, unless they were someone Baekhyun knew well. Junmyeon ahjussi once came to visit his father, but he complained that their houses were too far from each other, so that was the first and last time he had come to Baekhyun’s house.  
  
“Sure.”  
  
And when both of them walked out of the restaurant, Baekhyun took his bicycle he parked near the restaurant. Instead of riding the bike, he chose to go by pushing it. The walk along the cobbled street was quiet. Almost quiet that Baekhyun thought his heartbeat was the loudest sound he could hear. Or perhaps it was the other’s heartbeat. He ignored the dust and sand collected on his pants and shoes, and watched as Chanyeol’s feet moved beside him.  
  
They didn’t talk to each other, just letting the quietness surround them. And when they almost arrived at Baekhyun’s house, Chanyeol’s mouth gaped in surprise.  
  
“Is this your home?” Chanyeol asked. His eyes widened when he saw how small the house was, compared to the ones he always saw in Seoul. Baekhyun didn’t take it to heart. He assumed people like Chanyeol who came from the city wouldn’t know how it felt like to live in such a house.  
  
“Someone’s excited.” Baekhyun said. Chanyeol bit his lips when he heard the sneering comment from Baekhyun.  
  
“Sorry.”  
  
Baekhyun laughed. “Come in. It’s freezing outside.”  
  
Chanyeol followed the smaller male from behind, studying the surrounding around him. The front yard was clean from the dried leaves. There were pots of daisies lined up in a row near the wall outside and Chanyeol found them cute.  
  
When they got inside, Chanyeol had to bend a little so that his head wouldn’t hit the door frame. As he looked round, he studied every single area in the house, and somewhat couldn’t believe that Baekhyun was the owner of the house. He took a step forward, and when he craned his head to the side, he saw an old man watching the television silently, a remote control was held loosely in his hand. What almost caught him off-guard was when he realized that the man was actually sitting on a wheelchair.  
  
“Where did you go?” The old man said as the petite male approached closer.  
  
“I went to work, Dad. Remember?” Baekhyun said, giving a peck on the old man’s cheek. The latter gave him a smile, and Chanyeol felt a strange kind of warmness gushing inside him. Baekhyun glanced at Chanyeol and said, “This is my dad. Dad, this is Chanyeol. He’s new here,” Baekhyun introduced Chanyeol to his father. Chanyeol bent his body down to show his respect, but the man seemed to ignore him.  
  
“I’m hungry,” the man whined and Baekhyun smiled. He looked up at Chanyeol and gave an apologetic stare.  
  
“Can you wait over there, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun gestured to a small area near the kitchen. There was an old stool just beside a small table. “I’ll prepare meal for my dad and we can go to the temple when everything’s done. Is that okay with you?”  
  
“I’m fine. Take your time. No need to rush,” Chanyeol gave the male a sincere smile. Baekhyun nodded and headed for the kitchen.  
  
Just when Baekhyun was about to disappear from Chanyeol’s sight, that was when the old man shouted something that had flipped Chanyeol’s world inside out.  
  
“Baekhyun! I want some chicken in my soup.”  
  
“Alright, Dad. Anything for you,” Chanyeol heard the male’s voice from the kitchen.  
  
And suddenly everything spun around Chanyeol’s world.

 

 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun were sitting by the shore, watching the sand and salty water combined and became one. They were at the beach because of Chanyeol’s request after they had gone to the temple earlier. He just studied how Chanyeol religiously snapping the pictures of the temple, taking notes from time to time when Baekhyun explained about the history of the temple. When Chanyeol guessed he was done for that day, he suddenly told Baekhyun that he had yearned to watch the view of sunsets, and Baekhyun couldn’t retaliate when he was dragged so suddenly to here. Chanyeol had already been to that beach once, but he waited for Baekhyun to make up his mind so that they could watch the sunsets together.  
  
“How long has your father been like that?” Chanyeol suddenly asked.  
  
Baekhyun sighed. The question was somewhat sensitive to him, bringing back a weird kind of emotion in his heart, but he was already used to that. “Since last year. He looks awful, doesn’t he?” He replied, letting out a quiet laughter. But Chanyeol believed he just heard a sob from that man.  
  
“You… you haven’t told me your name yet.”  
  
“Is that so?”  
  
Chanyeol nodded. The air stiffened when Baekhyun didn’t answer anything.  
  
“Is it Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asked carefully. It was weird when Chanyeol eventually realized that he managed to survive without having to call someone by their own names. He guessed Baekhyun was just an exception.  
  
“Oh, you heard my father shouting for my name, did you? I actually intended to keep this as a secret. It’s… it’s Byun Baekhyun,” Baekhyun muttered under his breath. Chanyeol didn’t ask why, because he assumed that maybe Baekhyun was just being insecure.  
  
“Your name sounds familiar,” Chanyeol said. They exchanged gazes for a while. “But it’s beautiful. _Baekhyun._ ”  
  
Baekhyun blushed, not expecting to hear such a response. “Thanks.”  
  
“So, why do you always go to the post office?” Chanyeol started the conversation, clearly not noticing that he had just asked a ridiculous question.  
  
Baekhyun almost gasped. “How did you know?”  
  
“I’ve been here since a month ago. And if I counted it correctly, I saw you there three times,” Chanyeol raised up three fingers.  
  
“How much do you know about me?” Baekhyun questioned. He found it weird when people took interest in his life and everything he did. The feelings were just unexplainable.  
  
“You are avoiding my question again,” Chanyeol said and smiled. “Is this your specialty or something? You know well how not to answer questions from me.”  
  
Baekhyun grabbed a shell he found beside him and threw it away. He wiped off the sand from his hand and gave a look at Chanyeol. “It’s just me being myself. I’m not good at answering questions I find personal to me,” Baekhyun answered as he sighed. “And if you still want to know, I went there because of my father. He always asks me to send letters to someone.”  
  
“Who’s that someone?”  
  
“My mom.”  
  
“Oh.” A short reply was given. “Where is she?”  
  
Baekhyun gulped back his fear of revealing his secret, but he guessed Chanyeol deserved to know about him at least. “She’s not here anymore. More like she’s up there, probably watching us talk about her,” Baekhyun said. His finger was pointing up at the sky. Chanyeol noticed that Baekhyun’s body was slightly shaking. His eyes glistened in a way Chanyeol had never seen it before. He suddenly felt regret for asking such an inconsiderate question. He should’ve known earlier.  
  
Chanyeol breathed in. “I’m sorry to hear that.”  
  
Baekhyun let out a breath. “It’s totally fine. I don’t expect you to know everything about me. Most of them are unpleasant so if you’re wondering why I rarely open up to you, that’s one of the reasons to me being like this.”  
  
“Why do you still go there?”  
  
“The post office?” Baekhyun chuckled. “You already knew how my father looks like. Sitting on a wheelchair every single minute and only getting off it when he needs to sleep, as if his whole life depended on it. He doesn’t remember most of the things too, including the fact that his wife’s dead from the car crash. But he still remembers me. I don’t know why. Perhaps I keep reminding him that I am Byun Baekhyun, his only son who is the only family he has in this world and still alive. It’s kind of a habit, waking up every morning, walking to my father’s room and asking him if he recognizes my face. It hurts when I had to tell lies to him, saying that my mother is working in Seoul for years and will not return here for another good three years,” Baekhyun said, chest heaving as he inhaled. “He didn’t ask anything about you when he saw you in the living room just now, did he?”  
  
“He didn’t,” Chanyeol shortly answered. His focus was now on Baekhyun’s eyes. They were brimming with tears, and Chanyeol didn’t have a slightest idea of how long he had kept this feeling inside him.  
  
“It’s because he never cares for things happening around him. The only thing tattooed in his mind is his wife. I guess he doesn’t even care who I am, as long as I am there to help him with the meals and put him to bed every day.”  
  
“So why do you still go to the post office for nothing? You could just keep the letters or something. Don’t you think it’s kind of a waste of time? Walking back and forth when you know whatever you are doing right now means nothing.” The question had been lingering around his mind lately, bugging him. Baekhyun shouldn’t have spent his time at the post office stupidly, sending letters to someone who would never reply to them forever. And Chanyeol would have expected earlier if Baekhyun answered that he was just playing along with his father’s act. The old man didn’t remember a thing. It wasn’t Baekhyun’s fault if he told his father the truth, but Chanyeol knew the smaller man before him had done everything he could do.  
  
“For nothing? Now you sound like Sehun,” Baekhyun chuckled to himself. Chanyeol kept silent. “I have no choice but to act like everything is real. But still, you’re wrong. I do keep my father’s letters inside the box, making sure they are hidden well enough so that he doesn’t know I am lying to him. But the main reason I go there is because I’m waiting for a letter from someone. I was hoping for a reply from that someone.”  
  
And both of them fell into silence, because Chanyeol had no question to ask anymore. Even if he had one, he already knew the answer to his question. Everything just made sense now.

 

 

“Jongdae doesn’t reply to my letter anymore,” Baekhyun said, the last word was drawled sadly.  
  
“I told you to stop writing to him. He doesn’t deserve your attention. He doesn’t deserve anything from you,” Sehun sneered.  
  
“Why did you hide my letter the other day?” Baekhyun asked. He didn’t feel mad at Sehun like the other day. He knew Sehun had a reason behind everything he did.  
  
Sehun turned away. “I have no answer to that.”  
  
“There must be a definite reason,” Baekhyun pleaded.  
  
“Like I said, it’s because I want you to stop doing this.”  
  
“Why do you hate him so much?”  
  
Sehun let out a sigh. “I don’t hate him, Baekhyun. I just don’t want you to end up hurting yourself. You knew that already.”  
  
“I clearly remember the way your expression changed when I introduced you to Jongdae. You didn’t really like him.”  
  
“That Seoul boy,” Sehun changed the topic, “I’ve seen him around here a lot of time already. Is he your friend?”  
  
Baekhyun gulped down his saliva. Why did Sehun have to remind him of Chanyeol? “I was forced to help him do his assignments on our village.”  
  
“He looks okay,” Sehun commented.  
  
“What do you mean by okay?”  
  
But Sehun abandoned the question, and the answer was left lingering around in the air. Baekhyun just let it slide, he didn’t need the answer to that too.

 

 

It was Thursday, a time when Baekhyun would be relaxing at home with his father. He was about to cook something for lunch when he heard a faint knock from in front. He saw his father struggle to move around with his wheelchair, going straight to the door, but Baekhyun was faster to stop him.  
  
“No, Dad. That’s fine, I can open the door,” Baekhyun said, putting the rug he was holding aside before he held his father’s hand and pushed the wheelchair to the living room. His father grunted, but didn’t say anything in return.  
  
After making sure that his father was comfortable in his position, he rushed back to the front and opened the door.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“Chanyeol? What are you doing here?” Baekhyun gasped in surprise, but he kept his voice low so that he won’t disturb his father’s attention on the television.  
  
Chanyeol grinned and held up a black plastic bag high. “I came to visit your father. Am I disturbing both of you?” Chanyeol asked worriedly.  
  
Baekhyun contemplated for a while, but he let the male walk inside after making up his mind. A visit wouldn’t hurt.  
  
“Come in,” Baekhyun said. He gestured to the living room, and Baekhyun’s father was already looking at their direction.  
  
“Hello, Mr. Byun.” Chanyeol bowed. Baekhyun’s father seemed to ignore the taller male again like what he did yesterday. But as seconds passed, a smile crept up the old man’s face, and Chanyeol was delighted.  
  
“Can I sit there with your father?” Chanyeol asked for permission, lowering his voice.  
  
Baekhyun nodded. “Alright, but don’t talk to him that much. He doesn’t really like to be disturbed,” Baekhyun reminded, taking the plastic bag from Chanyeol’s hand. It was filled with oranges. Perhaps, Chanyeol bought it from the local store on his way here. “Thank you. I’ll prepare the lunch first. There’s nothing interesting here anyway but, suit yourself.”  
  
Baekhyun let the man wander about the house as he stepped towards the kitchen. He mentally noted that he should prepare lunch for three people, instead of two. So, he took out a box of white kimchi he had packed inside a box. He opened the freezer and took out a chicken before he put it in the sink and opened the tap, letting the water flow so that the chicken would soften. When he checked the rice cooker, he let out a sigh of relief when he guessed that the rice was enough for everyone.  
  
He was about to take out the vegetables and other ingredients from the refrigerator when he heard a familiar grunt from the living room. Washing his hand quickly, he hurried to the living room, and found that his father was being scooped up by Chanyeol.  
  
“Chanyeol, what are you—”  
  
He was left speechless for a moment, but he guessed Chanyeol had an explanation for that.  
  
“Your dad—” Chanyeol said, carefully holding the old man’s body. “—he wanted to go to the toilet, so I had to lift him up and—”  
  
“Oh God, you should’ve called me. I can do it by myself,” Baekhyun said in a worried voice. Relief sneaking up on him when Chanyeol finally put his father on the sofa instead of the wheelchair, despite how worried he was when he saw his father in Chanyeol’s hold. He didn’t trust other people to take care of his sick father other than Mrs. Oh and himself, but seeing how Chanyeol was casually doing everything on his own, something stirred in his heart.  
  
“That’s okay. Besides, I don’t want to disturb you in the kitchen,” Chanyeol said.  
  
“If he asks you to help him with anything, just call me. I can handle it by myself,” Baekhyun muttered as he leaned forward, putting on a blanket on his father’s laps. His father gave a tired smile then.  
  
Chanyeol didn’t reply. Instead, a smile appeared on his face, and Baekhyun swore his heart could burst in any time.

 

 

Baekhyun awoke to the sound of someone knocking on the front door hastily, the knocks reverberated across the house. The hands of the clock showed six in the morning. Baekhyun slightly grunted, feeling disturbed, but he struggled to get himself up anyway.  
  
Standing in front of him was Chanyeol, looking slightly disturbed and worried. Baekhyun’s eyes shifted to Chanyeol’s hand which was holding a knapsack. That was when it him: Chanyeol needed to return to Seoul. And suddenly a part of him flew away.  
  
“I have to go now.”  
  
“Where are you going?” Baekhyun asked, pretending that he didn’t know anything. He hated lying because he had to maintain his indifferent expression despite knowing the answer already.  
  
“Seoul. I’m going back to Seoul. I told you yesterday.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
There was a hint of disappointment on Chanyeol’s face when he received such a response from the smaller male. “My train leaves at eight and I have to be there as early as possible or I’ll be left behind,” he added.  
  
So, he’s really leaving, Baekhyun thought. Something strange stirred in his heart, but he didn’t know what it was. He cleared his throat, making sure that the tone of his voice didn’t sound too awkward when he muttered, “Have you had your breakfast? I can bake some—”  
  
“No, Baekhyun. That’s not important. I can buy some snacks on my way to the station.”  
  
There was silence. The atmosphere was awkward, leaving two people silently thinking of what they should say.  
  
“Here, take this.” Chanyeol finally broke the silence. He took out something inside a paper bag he put on the floor, and Baekhyun realized that it was a phone.  
  
“What is this?”  
  
“Take it.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Take it,” Chanyeol insisted.  
  
Baekhyun arched his eyebrows. “But why are you giving me your phone?”  
  
Chanyeol sighed. “I don’t want to lose contact with you. I knew that you don’t own any gadgets, so I guess I can give you mine instead of asking you to buy one,” he explained, locking his gaze at Baekhyun’s eyes. Baekhyun kept his head down in embarrassment.  
  
“But it’s yours. No—I—just—no, I can’t take this. You can still come here if you want. You can—”  
  
“I like you, Baekhyun.”  
  
Baekhyun’s breath hitched. “What?”  
  
“I know this looks stupid and seems rushed but I need you to know that I’m sincere with whatever I am going to say now,” Chanyeol paused and breathed in. “I like you, Baekhyun. I really do.”  
  
Baekhyun shook his head, couldn’t believe the confession made by the taller man. “No, Chanyeol. I think you’re just confused with your heart. Did you have enough sleep last night? Because I’m pretty sure you’re just—”  
  
“I know what I am doing.”  
  
The silence was heavy, stiffening and uncomforting. Baekhyun took a step back, but he felt Chanyeol’s fingers running on his hand, slowly creeping upward towards his arms and shoulders, and finally resting them on Baekhyun’s nape. Baekhyun drew in his breath, heat rushed and seeped through his body, bringing him a weird kind of feeling.  
  
“I want to live in your today and tomorrow. These eyes—look into my eyes, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol held Baekhyun’s shoulders tightly. “They always look for you, and even if they wander mindlessly, it will always be you they are searching for. And I know you’re going to say that everything is fucking ridiculous, that it’s not possible to fall in love with you in a short matter of time. But you know what? This heart—” Chanyeol brought Baekhyun’s hand to touch his chest. Baekhyun felt it. Chanyeol’s heart was beating vigorously and uncontrollably. “—it doesn’t know anything about how long it should take to fall in love with someone. All it cares is who I am falling in love with. And it’s you.”  
  
“No, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun sighed and continued. “You are just too carried away with your feelings. You mistook your feelings for something else, settling on the fact that you might have fallen in love with me. No.” Baekhyun paused. The world around him blacked out, and the only thing he saw was Chanyeol, standing in front of him as he waited for Baekhyun’s answer. But the answer disappointed Chanyeol. “You can’t love me. And I don’t even know who you are. And you are totally right, Mr. Park. This is all ridiculous.”  
  
Chanyeol’s heart sank when he heard Baekhyun calling him that. Suddenly, he felt that the barrier Baekhyun had built in between them grew apparent, as if there was a big wall stopping him from reaching to Baekhyun’s heart. His heart screamed in agony, but no one heard or noticed how painful it sounded. No one. Not even Baekhyun.

 

 

“Baekhyun.” A familiar voice greeted Baekhyun.  
  
Baekhyun stopped walking. He was on his way to the locker room when he saw Sehun behind him, holding something behind his back. When Baekhyun took a peek slightly to look what was behind Sehun, he automatically knew words Sehun was going to say.  
  
“Take this.” Sehun handed a paper bag. Baekhyun obviously knew what it carried inside. It was Chanyeol’s phone. “He wanted you to keep it,” Sehun silently continued.  
  
“I don’t want it.”  
  
“Please, Baekhyun. Try to open your heart to someone else who’s worth it. Try to accept someone else other than Jongdae into your life. It doesn’t hurt that much if you try.” Sehun’s voice sounded almost like he was begging, not the tone Baekhyun used to hear from the taller male. Sehun looked tired.  
  
Baekhyun had no answer to give. He silently took the bag and went away.

 

 

The night was filled with silence, confusion and hesitation.  
  
Baekhyun was staring at the ceiling, eyes blinking almost too often from time to time, and his thoughts left wandering through the air. When he craned his neck to the left, he saw Chanyeol. When he shifted his eyes to the window, he saw Chanyeol and this time, the man’s face was bright and cheerful. Baekhyun closed his eyes, not wanting to remember that man too much. But he knew it was impossible when he suddenly remembered the paper bag he received earlier from Sehun, and again, he let out a sigh.  
  
He sat up straight, cracking his fingers before he focused his eyes on that certain brown paper bag. Hesitation hit him, but he managed to shove those confused thoughts away when he reached for the bag, taking the phone and charger out of it.  
  
He didn’t know what to do when he looked at the phone. The black screen showed him his reflection, and Baekhyun decided to just switch on the phone.  
  
It switched on, but Baekhyun was left clueless. He scratched his neck a few times, throwing the phone on his pillows before he snuggled back under the sheets, confused of what to do. And that was when the phone suddenly beeped, and Baekhyun guessed a text message had just arrived.

_I hope you are reading this. This is my new number, and you can call me anytime you want._

Baekhyun didn’t have to think much that the text message was coming from Chanyeol. And above all, he never thought life could be so difficult on him.

 

 

Baekhyun was unsure at first, whether or not he should take the taxi to Chanyeol’s house. He wasn’t familiar with Seoul, or the people, but when Chanyeol sent him a text message asking him to come over to his house, Baekhyun couldn’t refuse. Besides, he didn’t know where to go after he’d arrived at the bus stop. Chanyeol had also texted his address, so Baekhyun guessed it wasn’t hard to find the way to Chanyeol’s house as long as the driver knew the place.  
  
“Ahjussi, could you take me to this place?” Baekhyun asked when he got inside a taxi. He showed the driver a picture of a landmark Chanyeol had sent to him, the one he got in return to answer his question asking about the exact address. It was located near the neighborhood as what Chanyeol had told him. The driver nodded his head and told Baekhyun he knew the place, and Baekhyun was more than relieved.  
  
During the ride, Baekhyun’s eyes were glued to see the surrounding outside the window. Tall buildings almost touching the blue sky, countless of metal beasts moving on the road and people walking on the streets; almost everything fascinated him. He wondered when he would get the same chance to come here with his father. He thought that maybe he should save a bit more money if he ever wanted to come to Seoul again.  
  
It took him almost half an hour to reach to Chanyeol’s place. The man silently drove the car to a corner of the road, entering an area surrounded with houses with red roofs on top.  
  
Baekhyun paid for the taxi fare and thanked the man before he walked out of the car, standing confusingly in front of a house. He took a glance at the picture on his phone, making sure that the place was correct as his eyes shifted around. He guessed it was right because he saw the same landmark on the way there and that was the only nearest neighborhood around the area.  
  
He decided to text Chanyeol and tell him that he had arrived, but Chanyeol didn’t immediately reply to his text. Maybe he was busy, Baekhyun thought to himself.  
  
When he looked around again, there was a nagging feeling in him that this place should be familiar, as if he had been there countless times before. It was such a ridiculous thought as he had never gone to Seoul.  
  
Even though he was afraid of standing alone in an unfamiliar place, relief washed through his body as he saw a middle-aged woman, probably around his father’s age walking slowly outside to her porch. He studied the woman for a while, noting that she was holding a heavy box in her hands, seemingly unbalanced as she tried to open the gates. Without hesitating, Baekhyun approached the woman when she finally unlocked the gates, making sure that he didn’t look like a creepy person.  
  
“Ahjumma, let me help you.”  
  
The woman looked surprised, but the fear was shoved away when she saw a sincere smile on Baekhyun’s face.  
  
“Thank you, young man.”  
  
“Where should I put this box?” Baekhyun asked, holding the box tightly in his hands. It was really heavy, but Baekhyun pitied the woman for carrying such a heavy load.  
  
“There. You can put there beside the dustbin,” she said, finger pointing at a black dustbin in front of the gates. Baekhyun nodded his head before he stepped forward and placed the box on the street.  
  
“You’re really kind,” the woman said when Baekhyun finally stood in front of her, smiling.  
  
“No, I just wanted to help,” Baekhyun said.  
  
The woman studied Baekhyun’s face for a moment. “I’ve never seen you around before.”  
  
“Ah, I’m actually finding someone here. His name is Park Chanyeol. Do you happen to know him?”  
  
“Oh, are you talking about that tall lad with the deep voice?”  
  
Baekhyun nodded his head several times, scratching the back of his neck. “Yes, I think we’re talking about the same person here. Actually, I just wanted to make sure whether this is the right address or not. I’m from Gangwondo.”  
  
“Gangwondo? That’s quite far from here. What are you doing here? Are you studying here?” the woman asked nicely.  
  
“No, I am just visiting him. I might return to my hometown tomorrow the fastest,” Baekhyun replied and smiled.  
  
“Your friend… I think he just went out just now,” the woman added, pointing her finger to a road junction nearest. “His house is just over there, the one with no cars in the porch,” she gestured to a house, and Baekhyun thought he was lucky that the driver dropped him at the right place, and that he didn’t have to walk further to Chanyeol’s house. When his eyes continued to look at the house, he suddenly felt something tugging at his heart.  
  
“Yes, I already know about that. He told me to wait first. Is it okay if I wait for him here, if you don’t mind?” Baekhyun asked politely when he looked at the woman again. He was fiddling with his fingers, unsure of what to do at that moment.  
  
The woman nodded her head. “Do you want to go inside and have a drink first while you wait for your friend?”  
  
Baekhyun bowed again. “No, it’s fine. I can wait for him here outside.”  
  
The woman smiled and said nothing. She gestured to her house before she walked inside. Baekhyun rubbed his cheeks several times, feeling a bit tired. His stomach also growled, and that was when he remembered that he hadn’t taken his lunch yet. He squatted outside the gate and settled down his belongings on the road. A brief moment later, the same woman walked outside, this time bringing a plastic chair with her and a pile of paper in her left hand. Baekhyun quickly stood up.  
  
“Here, sit here. You must be tired,” she said, as she put the chair inside the porch. Baekhyun had no choice but to walk inside, thanking the woman for her kindness.  
  
“Thank you,” he thanked the woman once again.  
  
“And this is Chanyeol’s. He wasn’t at home when the postman came so I had to sign for him first. Would you mind giving these to him later when he arrives?”  
  
Baekhyun was hesitating, but he eventually held out his hands to take the letters, and he nodded his head. The woman gave a smile before she walked inside her house, leaving Baekhyun to read the cover of the letters. He wasn’t paying attention to them at first, considering that perhaps they were Chanyeol’s bills and personal letters. But when his eyes caught something familiar—extremely familiar, his mind went blank. He stared at the words, trying to comprehend everything and find the answer to his confusion, but he found nothing. He was clueless, almost like he was left behind catching the last train, and noticing that he was too late.  
  
Right at the moment, a red car pulled out in front of him, and Baekhyun’s sight went blurry. Someone walked out of the car, and turned out it was Chanyeol, seemingly delighted and cheerful.  
  
“Baekhyun!” Chanyeol exclaimed and he walked forward, attempting to hug Baekhyun. He missed that petite male, he missed everything about him.  
  
“Chanyeol…”  
  
Chanyeol stopped smiling. Baekhyun was still sitting on the chair, eyes locked at Chanyeol’s face. When Chanyeol noticed the familiar stare, his heart quickened. Something must have happened to Baekhyun while he was away, he thought to himself.  
  
“Baekhyun—”  
  
“Can we talk inside?”  
  
“Y-Yeah sure. I was about to bring you—”  
  
“Now.”  
  
Chanyeol’s words were cut off. He remained silent, not knowing what was going on. Without any words, he opened the gate and asked Baekhyun to walk inside. Chanyeol turned to look at the male. There were tears on Baekhyun’s cheek. Baekhyun was crying. Chanyeol fought the urge to hug Baekhyun at that moment, even though he might be pushed away if he did so. What happened to Baekhyun?  
  
When they were in the living room, Baekhyun stood right in front of the opened door, completely silent. He didn’t even bother to put his belongings on the floor, let alone showing the letters to Chanyeol. But he was too weak. Slowly, the crumpled letters fell from his grip, and that was when Chanyeol finally realized that he was completely busted.  
  
“Baek…”  
  
“Care to explain everything to me?”  
  
“It wasn’t intentional. I was just—”  
  
“I just don’t fucking care whether it was fucking intentional or not. Why would you have these letters?” Baekhyun’s voice quivered. He still managed to keep his voice low, trying his hardest to control his anger. Everything crumbled. His trust, his life, his friend and Chanyeol. He didn’t know who he should trust now.  
  
Chanyeol’s eyes shifted to look at the letters on the floor. There, Baekhyun’s handwriting was clear on sight, and Chanyeol knew he had completely lost Baekhyun’s faith and trust on him.  
  
“So you already knew who Jongdae is?” Baekhyun asked.  
  
Chanyeol nodded.  
  
“So you knew all along that I was sending the letters to a wrong person, yet you still pretended you knew nothing about this?”  
  
The truth hurt, but Chanyeol had no choice other than nodding his head silently. He knew Baekhyun was hurt. But he was hurting too.  
  
“Jongdae used to live here before,” Chanyeol started off slowly. He grabbed a handful of his hair before letting some of the strands to fall on his head. “I really didn’t know what I had done at that time. All I ever thought was you. I didn’t want you to feel devastated waiting for something that wouldn’t happen.”  
  
“But that doesn’t mean you could cheat on me!”  
  
“I tried looking for Jongdae, okay? I even asked people around if they know who Jongdae is. Do you think it is still my fault? You don’t even know what I’ve gone through to tell you everything, Baekhyun. I had a hard time too handling this situation.”  
  
“But you shouldn’t have done that in the first place! You should just ignore the fucking letters and let me deal this pain by myself!”  
  
“Because I have fallen in love with the Byun Baekhyun in the letters! Goddamn it you wouldn’t even understand how I feel, would you?”  
  
Baekhyun fell silent. He wasn’t expecting for that answer. Perhaps, it was best if everything was revealed at that moment while they were at it.  
  
“I didn’t expect that I would find your letters though. When I read your letters, all I could imagine was someone hanging on a thin string of faith, and I knew I shouldn’t let you go. I did try looking for Jongdae, ask the neighbors here if any of them know where Jongdae is, but no one knows him. I couldn’t leave you alone, because I know how it sucks to be left by someone you love. And I don’t want it to happen to you.”  
  
Baekhyun’s eyes felt heavy. He hardly blinked, worrying that the tears might blur his sight.  
  
“So I read all those letters you wrote for Jongdae. I dug everything and found out that he hadn’t replied to some of your letters. I even laughed when I read your terrible jokes about Mr. Shin. I almost cried when you wrote about your father in your letters. I pretended that all those letters were meant for me when they weren’t in the first place. I read everything in one night, trying to piece everything together to know about you. It sounds stupid, but I have fallen in love with everything about you. I fell in love with your handwritings, your ways of telling your story, your funny choice of words. You always misspell laugh as ‘laf’ but I thought it is just one of your charms. And I like it.”  
  
“Chanyeol, just stop…”  
  
“That was when a miracle happened. I think God was showing the right path for me, guiding me straight to you, so that I would know who the real Byun Baekhyun is. I told you I went to your village for an assignment project right? I straightaway thought about you when my lecturer asked us to choose a historical place to do our research. I didn’t hesitate when I was asked to choose the place. It was because I know you are there. I longed to meet you after I read all those letters,” Chanyeol let out a chuckle. He fluttered his eyes closed, probably wondering where he got such a gut to tell Baekhyun everything. “But strangely enough, I didn’t recognize you the first time we met. I felt like a stupid man because I had no guts to ask people whether or not they know you. And that was when I found you,” he added and stared at Baekhyun, whose eyes were welling up with tears already.  
  
“You are so stupid. This is just ridiculous.”  
  
Chanyeol’s face went gloomy. He had prepared his heart for something like this. He knew he had done wrong. Baekhyun shouldn’t even forgive him. “I don’t want to force you doing something that you don’t want to. Love is not something that can be forced, I know that,” Chanyeol said, words coming out from his mouth were spoken one by one, as if trying to make Baekhyun understand that he was sincere with everything he did to the petite male.  
  
Baekhyun didn’t answer. He let his gaze fall on the floor, and he clearly saw his name written on one of the letters as the sender.  
  
“If leaving me is your choice, then I’ll agree. I’ll forget you,” Chanyeol said. He gulped regretfully and shook his head. “I’m—I’m really sorry for the lies, but trust me, my heart has been truthful to you from the first day I read those letters.”  
  
And that was it, Chanyeol’s words were gone with the wind along with Baekhyun, who silently walked away without turning back.

 

 

Christmas was just two days away and Baekhyun had long stopped writing to Jongdae, knowing that he couldn’t locate where that man was. All of his efforts to contact the man went futile, because nobody knew where Jongdae was. He didn’t leave his phone number to any friends, and he just disappeared completely from Baekhyun’s sight.  
  
Baekhyun remembered it well, when on the same day he returned to Gangwondo, he hurriedly went to Sehun’s house, forgetting the fact that it was almost midnight. He wanted nothing else. He just needed some confirmation. And Sehun had the answer to it.

_“You knew it all along, no?”  
  
“About what?”  
  
“That it wasn’t Jongdae who wrote the letter.”  
  
“I tried to warn you.”  
  
“But it didn’t seem convincing enough. You should’ve forced me to believe you. I feel stupid now, Sehun. What have I done?” Baekhyun sobbed, slowly leaning his head against the wall and banging it, completely ashamed of himself. He wasn’t really mad at Chanyeol to be completely honest. It was more like, he himself was confused of his feelings. He never had someone confessing to him like what Chanyeol did, and he somewhat liked it. It warmed his heart, knowing that someone liked him silently, even if it was through letters. Whenever Baekhyun remembered that bubbly face, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.  
  
“Chanyeol is a good man, Baekhyun. Believe me,” Sehun kept nodding his head.  
  
“Should I believe you this time around?” Baekhyun asked. His eyes were swollen enough from crying too much, from not having too much of a sleep during his ride on the train to Gangwondo. He kept thinking about Chanyeol all night long, regretting that he just left the man without any words. Sehun just laughed.  
  
“No worries, Baek.” He ruffled Baekhyun’s hair. “I’m sure he’ll come and look for you if he really likes you.”_

This time, Baekhyun knew that Sehun’s words were all bullshit. He didn’t receive any call from Chanyeol, not even a single text message. He thought that the man might be busy with his studies, but why didn’t he at least leave a message telling that he was really sorry? Baekhyun didn’t care if the message sounded cheesy or what, but he slowly learnt that he was actually in love with Chanyeol too during those short moments they were together.  
  
It was ridiculous, and Baekhyun couldn’t think straight.  
  
But it was Park Chanyeol who made him think twice, that perhaps he should start learning how to stop loving Kim Jongdae.  
  
Being Byun Baekhyun, he still needed Chanyeol to prove to him once again that he really meant his words.

 

 

Christmas finally arrived faster than Baekhyun had thought. Time seemed to tick so fast and the next second Baekhyun knew, the outside surroundings were already filled with snow. He was delighted, because he got to experience the snow once again. And knowing that his mom wasn’t here to celebrate the Christmas together, his heart plummeted.  
  
Slowly, he raised up from his seat and walked towards his father’s bedroom.  
  
The room was quiet, only filled with the sound of his father’s snores. Baekhyun put up a smile as he took a thicker blanket, enveloping his father so he wouldn’t freeze.  
  
It was still early in the morning, and Baekhyun didn’t have to go to work too. Mr. Shin told all his workers to celebrate their Christmas today, and even though there was really nothing to do on Christmas, Baekhyun was more than happy. He got to spend his quality time with his father, perhaps reminiscing the moments they had together when his mother was still alive. Except that maybe his father wouldn’t remember anything about the car crash.  
  
Baekhyun left the room and walked towards the kitchen, deciding to prepare some breakfast for his father when the man woke up later. But as he made his way to the area, someone knocked on the door, hastily and seemingly hurried.  
  
The sounds startled Baekhyun, especially when he didn’t expect any visitors on Christmas morning. Slowly, he padded across the house and opened the door, only to find someone, too familiar. Someone who was stupid enough not to come early and take Baekhyun’s heart back.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol greeted the male, pulling up a smile on his face. He was freezing cold, perhaps he’d been standing there outside for quite some time.  
  
Baekhyun chuckled, tears started to brim behind his eyes.  
  
“Idiot,” he whispered, before pulling the taller male closer for a kiss, and Baekhyun still thought that living in the countryside wasn’t that bad, because someone from Seoul had finally come to him to fill his days with joy and eternal spring.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Please leave your review at LiveJournal. ♥


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